I’m a formally uneducated housewife. I’ve changed majors three times and the last 6 years of engineering school left me with nothing to show for it but an anxiety disorder and a heaping helping of depression.

I honestly have no clue what I’m doing anymore.

It’s been 7 months since I’ve even looked at this blog and that’s only because the monthly shit-and-a-half views haven’t somehow sorted themselves out into an undeserved reality show. That kind of fame is reserved for 600lb women with egg roll addictions and hoarder broads who spend their days alphabetizing cat shit.

So now what? I’m knocked up, that’s what.

I’m almost three months pregnant and, when I’m not watching dogs take shits on my living room rug or dodging my husband’s incessant requests for anal, I’m scouring the intertubes for North Korean variety show drivel. I have many favorites, but this one really gets my fetus flapping. When I feel bad, I have these perky, moon-faced little DPRK darlings to pick me right back up again.

Marvel as Comrade Shirley Temple squats, prances, and cheesecakes her way around the stage while she and her adolescent big band do their best to keep their extended family out of the gulags. It’s mandatory fun for the whole family.

Enjoy and don’t forget to subscribe you hook-nosed, imperialists dogs.