Before we get into the What-the-Fucky goodness that is this post, let me just say that depression is a bitch – a hairy, stank-ass, fuck-faced bitch. As the snow falls outside, I too begin to fall off the radar of normal, decent human living. I don’t feel like doing much of anything, much less contributing to a blog that gets somewhere between shit and shit-and-a-half hits per month. And sure, I could slap on a push-up bra and go out at night and dance and drink my troubles away, but it only delays the inevitable mornings where nothing seems dire or interesting enough to get me out of bed. Even sleep is beginning to bore the shit out of me.

Winston Churchill was a sufferer of depression (although he was a bit more manic than I’ve ever been) and used to refer to his ailment as the “black dog”.

Black-Dog-in-the-Dark
“Who the fuck said YOU were going to be productive today?! Get your ass back in bed, bitch.”

When the black dog shows up, nothing gets done. The house could be on fire and I couldn’t give two shits. Some days I may be teeming with ideas; scouring the internets for Nigeria’s latest b-movie sex comedies. The next day, I’m slogging through YouTube clips of puppy stampedes wondering why these little fuzz-balls with questionable motor skills aren’t making me happy.

But fuck that noise. The internet is full of puppies and on my blackest of dog days, there’s always one thing that lulls me to the surface: Yeast Radio.

I love these Whore Holes and their yummy grums (i.e. podcast programs). I love when they prank call pregnancy crisis hotlines (i.e. anti-choice scumbags) and ask about whether they should keep their “snickers” (i.e. half black, half white) babies. And yes, I am a full supporter of Pro-Choice and sporty-bortys (an abortion when you’re feeling sporty). Suck my dick if you feel differently, I don’t care. I write a shitty blog and you’ve got balls if you’ve made it this far into the post. Everybody wins.

And don’t ask me what’s going on in any of these grums. All I know is that one of them is a bloated lesbian, the other is an avid smoker with a prolapse, and yet another runs a school for girls. Then again, maybe not. Either way, just run with it.

Join me in celebrating the unsung heroes at Yeast Radio and marvel at their hit “Walls Fall Out”. This is where it truly gets WTF. Enjoy you filthy vermin, I’m going back to bed.

And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @bmoviebrunette.